it was early; the morning was unusually cold (for me, at least). i walked down a narrow staircase, gazed at the unfamiliar surrounding and courageously made my way across the deserted parking lot. the sun was peeping already but i spotted very few people around. i was wrapped in a baggy white shirt (borrowed) and shorts (again, borrowed). my hair was messy and i looked grave-stricken. it would be a horror scenario if you met me that day, that morning, that time.
i cursed, wondering why i had to do what i did but something inside me whispered that it wasn't going to end there, that there were more to come. my effort just couldn't end up like trash, i would've cried thinking about that. but then i scolded myself..who was i to complain so easily. Jesus carried that cross and took all blame to himself, why wasn't I trying to be like Him? I'm His daughter, after all. my heart ached. the feeling was all stirred up. my head was throbbing, my hair wasn't helping much, my confidence down to -20 from 0 that morning. i was pissed i didn't know what to decide how to get home. i was exhausted, dehydrated and cold. and i felt that i was useless...
i stood by the road for i dunno how long and talked to God. I told Him i wanted to go home.. I didn't have the mood to do anything anymore I felt like just sitting on the roadside and let some garbageman pick me up and throw me at Clementi. i squeezed my laptop, realizing it was something i couldn't squeeze, it wasn't sponge. i didn't know what to do...i really would have appreciated a cup of warm water then.
God did not drop me rain or something like that.
...
A taxi came towards me as i waved. i opened the car door like it was 1000kg heavy and slid inside, still mad at i don't know what. i just have this mood swing where i can feel so mad at the situation i couldn't control. it was worse in the cab, i was basically freezing. i sat on my hands and fell asleep despite all i was feeling. it would be nice to just close your eyes and disappear sometimes when things happen not the way you like it to be but that's life. correct? we never know whats coming, we're all just flowing with everything, trying to figure our calling in life and just trust our life to Him.
when i opened my eyes again i almost reached home. before the cab broke into a stop i saw this tiny wooden cross placed simply above the radio. everything in my mind was gone at once, i only felt one thing... gratitude. i smiled, and thank Him for taking care of me even in situations i thought He wouldn't involve Himself in. He actually cared how I must get home to get ready for school. I smiled, really smiled and paid the uncle, saying, "God bless you uncle, thanks,"
He was surprised. I was even more surprised, by the mercy of our Lord, our Father, the King of all kings. That guy up there looking at us all LOVES us. Be happy and useful for Him...we're all princesses and princes...come serve the needy, His kingdom is ready for us and all lives saved.
CREATED BY
-blossom-
i cursed, wondering why i had to do what i did but something inside me whispered that it wasn't going to end there, that there were more to come. my effort just couldn't end up like trash, i would've cried thinking about that. but then i scolded myself..who was i to complain so easily. Jesus carried that cross and took all blame to himself, why wasn't I trying to be like Him? I'm His daughter, after all. my heart ached. the feeling was all stirred up. my head was throbbing, my hair wasn't helping much, my confidence down to -20 from 0 that morning. i was pissed i didn't know what to decide how to get home. i was exhausted, dehydrated and cold. and i felt that i was useless...
i stood by the road for i dunno how long and talked to God. I told Him i wanted to go home.. I didn't have the mood to do anything anymore I felt like just sitting on the roadside and let some garbageman pick me up and throw me at Clementi. i squeezed my laptop, realizing it was something i couldn't squeeze, it wasn't sponge. i didn't know what to do...i really would have appreciated a cup of warm water then.
God did not drop me rain or something like that.
...
A taxi came towards me as i waved. i opened the car door like it was 1000kg heavy and slid inside, still mad at i don't know what. i just have this mood swing where i can feel so mad at the situation i couldn't control. it was worse in the cab, i was basically freezing. i sat on my hands and fell asleep despite all i was feeling. it would be nice to just close your eyes and disappear sometimes when things happen not the way you like it to be but that's life. correct? we never know whats coming, we're all just flowing with everything, trying to figure our calling in life and just trust our life to Him.
when i opened my eyes again i almost reached home. before the cab broke into a stop i saw this tiny wooden cross placed simply above the radio. everything in my mind was gone at once, i only felt one thing... gratitude. i smiled, and thank Him for taking care of me even in situations i thought He wouldn't involve Himself in. He actually cared how I must get home to get ready for school. I smiled, really smiled and paid the uncle, saying, "God bless you uncle, thanks,"He was surprised. I was even more surprised, by the mercy of our Lord, our Father, the King of all kings. That guy up there looking at us all LOVES us. Be happy and useful for Him...we're all princesses and princes...come serve the needy, His kingdom is ready for us and all lives saved.
CREATED BY
-blossom-
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